A late summer’s eve, they asked if I wished to play with the ancestors, as it had been a first choice for a few years now, a playground that I choose to explore and had come to love. That night in the forest the invitation no longer felt right. Here was an end of this nightmare of control and lies. A new adventure presented itself; I listened to my heart and let go of the struggles and found me again. My heart was free.
Curiosity and the question why started this life changing journey. A yoga teacher training workshop on chakras and my hands and body began to tingle and my whole body felt like there was a party going on inside of me that I couldn’t explain. It was a beautiful experience which also brought up a million questions. The questions I posed to so many people. The conclusion that I began to understand that it was energy, so I asked myself now what; a whole new set of question arose.
One thing led to another and a friend convinced me I should go have a reading with this “dude” who was an oracle and would probably be able to help me figure out the energy stuff. I had no idea what an oracle was so I checked it out. The first statement out of his mouth that day was, “I have been looking for you my whole life” when he saw the confusion on my face, he changed the statement, “I have been looking for people like you my whole life”. The reading was intriguing and the learning of reiki was brought up, it was a suggestion that felt right. It was offered that he and his partner taught reiki courses, I indulged. I was hooked on a feeling per se. It all made sense … I took all their courses and then became an instructor. All this came to me so easy, an education of epic proportions occurred. A new world opened for me. I studied everything that came across my path about energy. My children were my practice subjects, which always showed me real results, as children are open to energy in a different way than adults. So many things in my life began to make sense.
I slowly lost interest in many of the physical activities that I had enjoyed in the past. Running, swimming, hiking and cycling all were replaced by yoga and metaphysics, which really wasn’t a bad thing. I went on a holiday in my own head and energy knowledge and information flooded my life. All this change even ended a 22 year marriage. I threw all of me into a project that I believed was part of my own dream.
(Through writing this today May 24, 2020, I just realized that it never was my dream). The spell, psychic attack or energetic manipulation that I fell under ran-runs deep, today another level dissolving and I feel the burdens floating out of me as another layer of healing is happening. Maybe it could be called a veil being lifted.
Back to the story … One of my greatest experiences of learning energy was the sweat lodge. A place where darkness showed me light; I began to see, hear and understand things I never knew existed. Occult teachings were revealed daily as so much knowledge was gained while trying to start a healing retreat center.
I am forever grateful for all of the experiences and wisdom gained during those years. The vast amount of teachers that crossed my path during that time taught me some of my most important lessons. The greatest understandings of how NOT to treat people and situations came from the very people that were “the organizers” that I trusted because of their “know how”. I began to see and realize what was happening around me, after I invested my nest egg. Lies were being shown to me everywhere I looked. The control of energy that was not for the highest good of all was apparent and I watched helplessly while being accused of sabotage, the project fell apart and the property went into foreclosure. All I had for my $163,000 investment was a piece of paper stating I had claim in a project that went under.
Within a 2 month span, I lost my truck, lost my money and lost the land that I had cared for and nurtured. Being evicted is a horrible and stressful experience, especially when you are broke, no longer to bring in income and now needed to get all my stuff, my trailer and yurt off a property fast. I am again grateful for all the help I received during those weeks. Embarrassed and not wanting to be defeated, not to mention all the guilt that had been planted into my being, my self esteem was at an all time low, I followed the project to a beautiful mountain location, that was so remote and beautiful, I gave it all another chance. My first visit to this place was quite magical as I saw a portal open with my own eyes for the very first time. I took this as a sign to try again.
This time, I had a witness and a contract to work and be paid for 6 months as we continued the retreat venture in a new location. It was a frustrating 6 months, as I had very little cash and being so remote, very little work. I worked my ass off once again trying to get a retreat center happening. Then all the lies started showing up again. Thankful I had a contract this time, I observed and made the decision to go back home to Edmonton when the contract was over. I would take my losses and start again.
Then one day a door flew open and this man literally flew in and swept me off my feet with his charm, personality and his soft heart. This man came looking for me, the first time in my life where I wasn’t the one pursuing. I was curious, where will this journey take me?
A sweat lodge evening, the first one on the mountain, this had been my playground happily for a few years. That night I was given a choice, a sweat lodge or a moonlit motorcycle ride. I took the ride and have never looked back; the journey into the heart began again.
Wendy from Wendy Jean Holistics is an energy booster who uses holistic practices to share and teach the art of self healing. Currently living in Ecuador and experiencing new ways to live a healthy life.